


The Importance of Memory

by LRThunder



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 2017 SSHG Gift Fest, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 19:44:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13301892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LRThunder/pseuds/LRThunder
Summary: When Severus makes mistake as a teacher, Hermione realizes he doesn't want his memories anymore.  She decides to help him, even if it means confronting her own memories.





	The Importance of Memory

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2017 SSHG Gift Fest

Hermione enjoyed being a teacher. When she was hired as the new Ancient Runes professor, Ron had jokingly said, "You already have enough experience teaching us."

She had smiled as she replied, "Yes, but I won't let _these_ students copy off each other." That had wiped Ron's smile off his face, but fortunately, he soon laughed. 

They had tried dating after the war, but soon they discovered they were better off as friends. When they had told Harry and Ginny about their mutual break-up, Ginny said, "Maybe the two of you can finally stop arguing." This earned her a glare from her brother and a chuckle from Harry.

Still, she was right. Since Hermione no longer had to worry about her feelings for Ron, their friendship became more relaxed. Although they still argued occasionally, it felt more like witty banter than the more venomous fights they had had during school.

Of course, now that she was single, Hermione had to worry about her friends, and now her colleagues, trying to play matchmaker. Since she was now Professor McGonagall's colleague, Hermione saw a side of her former teacher she had never seen before. Sometimes, the headmistress would drop hints about eligible wizards in the Hogsmeade, but Hermione would just ignore her.

Despite her enjoyment with her profession, she had to admit there were moments that she didn't like. For example, marking essays was one of her least favorite parts of the job. It wasn't that the students were horrible with the subjects. It was that she would spend hours of her time reviewing their homework, sometimes causing her to stay up late.

When Hermione had asked McGonagall for advice, the headmistress laughed and said, "You'll get used to it. Ask Albus about my first couple of years as a teacher." She pointed to Dumbledore's portrait, whose eyes twinkled with mirth. Hermione thought she heard a snicker from Phineas's portrait.

Tonight, she knew she was lucky. She didn't have any essays to grade, so she looked forward to finishing up next week's lesson plans, then relaxing for the rest of the evening with a nice book. But no sooner had she settled down when she heard a soft knock on the door. She sighed. "Come in."

A sixth year Ravenclaw walked in. "I'm sorry to bother you, Professor, but I need your advice."

Hermione checked her watch. "Well, it is getting late, but I can spare a few minutes. But be mindful that curfew is in an hour, Miss Crenshaw."

Lila Crenshaw nodded. She was one of Hermione's favorite students for her dedication to her schoolwork. She also didn't like to mince words. Crenshaw pulled a roll of parchment from her robes and handed it to her. "This was my Potions essay, and I don't understand why Professor Snape marked it the way he did."

"Strictly speaking, you should take this up with him, or at least, Professor Flitwick," Hermione pointed out. While she knew the Ravenclaw Head of House would be happy to help Miss Crenshaw any way he could, she also knew Severus could be quite stubborn. Apparently, the victory over Voldemort didn't change him _that_ much. "Still, I'll look over this."

"Thank you, Professor, and once again, I'm sorry for bothering you," Crenshaw said as she left.

Hermione started reading the Potions essay, with her eyes narrowing with each line. Now she understood why Crenshaw had come to her. While Hermione wasn't at the level of a Potions Master, she still excelled at it, and even Severus couldn't deny it, much as he might want to. What she read caused her to get angry. Severus had given Miss Crenshaw a ‘D’ for this? She vowed to have a talk with him in the morning.

******

"Severus, I would like a word with you."

Hermione didn't have to see his face to know that he was scowling. She had waited until she had a free period before going to speak to him. He always stiffened his back when he scowled. "I'm busy, Professor Granger," he said coolly.

"It's about Lila Crenshaw's essay. How could you give her such a low mark?"

Severus turned to face her, his eyes narrowing in annoyance. "I see that Miss Crenshaw has a lot of free time to bother other teachers with Potions homework. I shall rectify that immediately. Thank you for bringing this to my attention."

"Don't you dare blame this on her, Severus. I've heard other students complaining about your teaching methods." Hermione was determined not to let him push her aside.

He sneered. "Probably Gryffindors or Hufflepuffs. As I recall, Potter and Weasley had plenty of complaints about me, and yet here I am."

"I'll concede that point, but the complaints came from Slytherins. Remember the Slytherins of my year? They never had a bad word to say about you. Of course, you never had a bad word to say about them either." 

Hermione realized belatedly it was probably the wrong thing to say. She was right. Severus didn't draw his wand, but he snarled, "Get out!"

******

Hermione wondered if she should go to McGonagall. But she knew it probably wouldn't do any good. If Dumbledore were still alive, he could probably help Hermione figure out what was wrong with Severus, because there seemed to be plenty of things wrong. First, he was marking the essays incorrectly; incorrect information was marked as correct, while correct facts caused poor grades. While some of these incidents could be attributed to Gryffindors, others were happening to Slytherins. 

Then there were his classes themselves. Twice, more knowledgeable students prevented catastrophe when Severus taught them the wrong method of creating a certain potion, or gave them the wrong ingredients. When they brought this to his attention, they were given a week's detention for their troubles. 

Hermione knew if she went to the headmistress, McGonagall didn't have the influence on Severus that Dumbledore had. No, there was only one person who might be able to help, but Hermione hated the idea of contacting Lucius Malfoy.

******

When Hermione wrote to the Malfoys, she didn't expect a positive response. To her surprise, Lucius was willing to meet with her. Maybe it had something to do with his desire to appear reformed. Everyone was still skeptical; hence the continuous surprise inspections of Malfoy Manor on a regular basis. But so far, he did appear to be legitimate.

She knew he hated Muggle-borns, and probably wouldn't ordinarily want to help her. But since he was friends with Severus, she guessed he would do what was necessary. In his response, he had suggested meeting at his home, which she firmly refused. Hermione suggested meeting at Hogwarts, which he declined. They decided on a compromise: the Three Broomsticks.

They agreed to meet a week after the Hogsmeade weekend. The pub wasn't as crowded as usual, which gave them a chance to talk without having to shout. "Thank you for meeting me, Mr. Malfoy."

Lucius took a sip from his drink. "Anything to help Severus. What seems to be the problem?"

Hermione explained. "So, it's not just Gryffindors who are complaining about him: it's all the students, even Slytherins."

Lucius raised his eyebrows in surprise. "That doesn't sound like Severus, but remember that he did just recover from Nagini's bite. Maybe that took a toll on him," he replied.

"Possibly. I mean, McGonagall, Poppy and Kingsley did try to convince him to take a holiday to heal, but he refused."

"That does sound like Severus. He does have a lot of pride."

"But even the trauma of his near death doesn't account for him getting facts wrong when it comes to Potions. I mean, he may be biased against non-Slytherin students, but I've never known him to make so many mistakes," Hermione replied.

Lucius frowned. "Now that you mention it, this is a matter of concern. Maybe I should speak with him."

"Be prepared for him to be stubborn," she warned.

******

Hermione was right. Lucius had tried to talk to Severus, but had been practically thrown out. She knew that if Lucius tried pressing the issue any further, Severus would convince the Aurors to intervene. So, it was up to her.

Before dinner one night, she made her way to his office. This time she was determined not to leave before she had her say. While she wouldn't approve of barging in on him, she wasn't going to give Severus the opportunity to turn her away. She only hoped that he hadn't charmed his office to prevent her entrance.

Fortunately, the door opened and she was able to walk in. Either Severus wasn't prepared for her, or he didn't care. "Do you barge in on our other colleagues like this?" he demanded.

"It's about time... What's that?" Hermione asked, stopping in full stride.

She pointed to a basin on his desk. Even though she hadn't seen one, she suspected it was a Pensieve. Surrounding it were a lot of vials, filled with what appeared to be memories. She turned to look at Severus, who only sneered. "What does it look like, Professor Granger?"

"Severus, are you removing your own memories?"

"If I am, it wouldn't be any business of yours."

"It is if it is affecting your teaching. No wonder you've been making so many mistakes in class," Hermione said.

"As I said, it's none of your business."

"Severus, if it's your time as a Death Eater…"

His eyes flashed menacingly and he raised his wand. "I said it's none of your business. Don't make me jinx you."

Hermione was now alarmed. Even when he was suspected of treachery, he never harmed any student. Even Dumbledore's death had been arranged with the former headmaster. She knew she should convince him to restore his memories, but he wasn't in a reasonable mood right now. The last thing she wanted to do was duel him.

Her hesitation apparently satisfied him. He glared at her one final time before returning to the Pensieve. "I trust you can find your way out."

******

It was that night that Hermione started having her own fears about her memories. Severus's actions had started to lead her to question the decisions she made. As she got ready for bed, she remembered the steps she had taken to save her parents' lives. It had been necessary, but it had resulted in their permanent removal from her life. After the war, she had tried to track them down in Australia. After a year of searching, she found them and managed to restore their memories. That had been the easy part. When their memories returned, however, they had reacted with horror. They had immediately kicked Hermione out of their house. Her father had even said, "I don't want to see you again."

Hermione had spent the next few months trying to regain their trust, but they remained as adamant as ever. While her father had continued to be loud and demonstrative, her mother's voice had been icy cold. It was a tone of voice she had never used with her before. Even when Hermione got into trouble as a child, her mother had been calm, but firm. Now, it was chilly. To make matters worse, she couldn't really blame her parents' reactions.

Eventually, she had decided to leave. Before she left, her father had one final parting shot. "Why did you have to restore our memories?" That snide remark had reduced Hermione to tears, but it wasn't nearly enough to soften her parents' hearts. Eventually, she enlisted the aid of Australian Obliviators to restore the Grangers' previously modified memories.

The trauma of her parents' rejection had haunted her for a few months afterwards, but she had started to manage it once she was hired by McGonagall. Now, she was forced to deal with that again because of Severus's reluctance to deal with his own memories.

Tears began to pour down her face as she started crying. She tried to will herself to calm down, but the tears continued flowing down her cheeks, falling onto the floor and her robes. Even when she conjured up a handkerchief, she couldn't stop them. She began to wonder if Severus's methods of dealing with the pain weren't the wrong ones after all.

An hour later, Hermione finally managed to calm herself, but the guilt continued to consume her. She conjured a vial to remove that memory from her head. Only her knowledge of Severus's struggles stopped her from doing so. She knew she didn't want to start down that path. 

Instead of removing the memory, she placed the vial on her nightstand and got ready for bed. Even though the guilt remained, she managed to fall asleep, although she knew she wouldn't have any pleasant dreams that night.

******

For the first time, Hermione began to appreciate the dilemma Severus was facing. She had wanted to purge her memory of her parents' rejection, and it was only one memory. He, however, had to deal with years' worth of horrible memories which included crimes he committed during his service to Voldemort.

Yet, she knew that running away from her past wasn't the answer. Neither could Severus afford to do the same. His actions were already having a detriment on his career, and unless he changed course, he would soon see his career come to an end. She was already beginning to hear threats of Ministry or School Governors' involvement. Sooner or later, Minerva would have to intervene, even if it didn't.

That meant it was up to Hermione to help Severus, even if he didn't want it.

******

"Did you want to see me, Professor Granger?"

Hermione looked up and saw Severus standing in the doorway of her office. "Yes. Please come in."

"I really don't have time to waste and... Where did you get that?" he asked, pointing to an object on her desk.

Her eyes followed his finger to the Pensieve. "I borrowed it."

He narrowed his eyes. "You borrowed it. I suppose that's one way of looking at it."

Hermione sighed. "Okay, I stole it, but I needed it to show you something."

"I really have work to do," Severus replied, turning to leave.

"Such as misgrading students' papers, or teaching them the wrong recipes for potions? You do realize that Minerva and the Ministry are _this_ close to having you sacked, right?"

He stopped and turned to glare at her. "For the last time…"

"Please let me show you something, then you can leave," she urged him. If this didn't work, then she was out of options.

"Very well."

Hermione led him to the Pensieve, where her memory was already waiting for them. They entered it, and fell for what seemed to be like a great distance before landing in the Great Hall.

"This is the Great Hall. What are we doing here?" Severus asked.

"Just watch," she told him.

They had landed in the middle of the final part of the Battle of Hogwarts. Chaos reigned as people hurled curses and hexes at each other. They watched as Bellatrix almost killed Ginny Weasley with a Killing Curse. Hermione smiled as Molly told the dark witch off before engaging her in a vicious duel. During the duel, Severus opened his mouth as though he wanted to utter a sarcastic remark, but she elbowed him to remain silent.

When Bellatrix died, Voldemort turned his wand on the Weasley matriarch, only for Harry to emerge to protect Molly. The crowd erupted in cheers as they realized Harry was alive.

"This is what you wanted me to see? I know all about Potter defeating the Dark Lord."

"It's partly that, but also look at me."

They saw her past self cheering loudly, perhaps the loudest of all. Hermione remembered the thrill of happiness as she realized her best friend, her brother, had survived after all. She remembered clinging to Ron's arm tightly as Harry and Voldemort circled around each other, speaking before casting the final, fateful curses.

"All this is because of you, Severus," Hermione whispered.

"Me?" For the first time, she heard genuine surprise in his voice. "I'm aware of what I did."

"Are you? If not for your actions, both good and bad, Harry wouldn't have been in a position to survive, and I'm not just talking about that Halloween night. You may have done a lot of bad things in your life, Severus, but you have done some good as well. Seeing my friend alive, getting a chance to know him in the first place...all that is because of you."

Suddenly, the scene changed, prompting Severus to ask, "Where are we going now?"

"You'll see," she said.

They landed in the Shrieking Shack. They watched as her past self hurried up to Severus's body. She knelt beside him, checking for a pulse, even though she didn't expect to feel one. They heard her whisper, "Thank you, Professor. We've all had our doubts about you, but you are a true hero."

Severus looked at the current Hermione with surprise, and perhaps embarrassment. They heard a gasp, and saw the other Hermione stand up. "Professor, you're alive?" They watched as she cast a Patronus Charm. "Here's hoping that I can do this correctly." An otter emerged from her wand and she told it to let the others know that Severus needed medical attention.

"You saved me," he said.

Hermione smiled. "It was the least I could do for the good you've done. The point is that I know you have all of these memories of bad choices you made. But, for good or bad, they are a part of you. They define who you are. Hogwarts needs your old, whole self, and so do I." Then she did something that would have caused Ron to call her mental: she kissed Severus on the cheek.

"And if you ever need help dealing with your past actions, I will always be there," she added, taking his hand as they removed themselves from her memories.

"I shall think about it, Hermione."

"I ask for nothing less."

******

Over the course of the next few weeks, Severus began to improve. Hermione smiled when she realized complaints from the students began to subside--well, the ones from Slytherins, anyway. The Gryffindors' complaints continued, but they sounded like her school years, so she figured everything was back to normal.

Lila Crenshaw told her that everything was going better in Potions. There was still the complaint about his sternness and bias, but Hermione knew Crenshaw was starting to feel better about everything.

Before Hermione knew it, the end of term had arrived. Students had finished their exams and were eagerly awaiting the final trip home. After the farewell feast, Hermione saw Severus lingering in the doorway of the Great Hall. At first, she thought he was shooing the students back to their dormitories. Then, she realized he was waiting for her.

"Can I help you, Severus?"

"Yes. I wanted to thank you for helping me," he said, somewhat reluctantly. "I was wondering if…"

"If what?"

"You would care to join me for dinner, Professor."

Hermione smiled. "I will, but on one condition: you call me Hermione."

"Of course, Prof...I mean, Hermione."

 

The End


End file.
